Nothing Interesting Ever Happens to Ethan Fairmont by Nick Brooks

Author:Nick Brooks [Brooks, Nick]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Union Square Kids

A HOUSEGUEST!

Cheese stared at me from the attic darkness.

I stared back, confused.

Nugget stared at us both, sneaking bites of leftover lettuce while he watched.

“Cheese, what the fuzzlebutt are you doing here?” I whispered angrily.

The little shiny alien bobbed up and down. “Gtzey-gur—”

“Don’t you try to explain this away, you metal meathead! Are you trying to get us both in trouble?”

I realized then that Cheese must’ve hidden in my book bag. No wonder we didn’t see him when we left the factory. I crept out of bed and drew the hanging curtains around my area closed, making sure to press them tight against the wall. They hung from the floor to the ceiling, and I’d designed the setup for nights when for some reason I didn’t want my parents to know I was still awake.

Hiding an alien seemed like a good reason.

“Do you know that there are people looking for you?” I asked, crawling back on top of my bed to sit cross-legged. “They’re searching the whole neighborhood.”

Cheese bobbed. Not being able to understand each other made things super-difficult.

Nugget peeked out from his cage and chirped.

The alien whirled high in the air, then zoomed over to the cage and stared at Nugget. The fuzzy little guinea pig chirped in alarm and dashed back into his hiding hole. Cheese looked at me.

“Gurrfurr?”

“No!” I shouted, then clapped my hands over my mouth. I lowered my voice. I started to see that “gurrfurr” had something to do with food. “Nugget is not food! He’s a Nugget. Not a chicken nugget, but a guinea pig Nugget, and you don’t eat those.”

Cheese opened his mouth, and I saw the silver arm start to creep out.

“Guuuuuuurrfurr?”

I rolled off the bed and ran around to the cage, getting in between the hungry alien and Nugget, who trembled in the corner. Scooping him into my hands, I cradled my pet and scooted away from Cheese.

“Nugget. Isn’t. Food! Look, stay here, I’ll go get you something to eat. Stay!”

Cheese looked disappointed, and I pointed to a corner. “Stay there. I’ll be right back with some snacks. Stay!”

The shiny alien dropped to a low hover above the floor and stared after me, its big eyes sad and wide. All six. I started to put Nugget back in the cage, but after thinking about it I decided to take him with me to the kitchen. Chunky little dude might end up as a snack if I left him.

Sneaking down to the kitchen is a tricky thing to do when an angry guinea pig is chirping in your ear. Nugget was going to get us caught.

“Hush,” I whispered. “So, you almost got eaten. Big deal. Next time don’t look so delicious.”

Nugget chirped louder.

“Okay, okay, okay. I’m sorry, I’ll make sure to remind Cheese not to eat you when we get back upstairs.”

More chirping.

“Okay, ’ever.’ I’ll tell Cheese not to eat you ever.”

Nugget nuzzled between my neck and cheek, still chirping angrily under his breath. I scratched his ears as I slipped open the door at the bottom of the attic stairs.

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